How to Deal with Crap Feelings

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Ever feel insecure? Like you’re not good enough, smart enough, or sexy enough to be in a relationship?

Ummmm, yeah. I know I have. And so has my client Carrie.* (names have been changed.) I met Carrie after a relationship that left her feeling–you guessed it–insecure, not smart enough, sexy enough or good enough. And she vowed to NEVER EVER feel those negative emotions again.

The Good News: She was doing pretty good on her promise to herself. She wasn’t feeling insecure.

The BAD News: She was single and lonely. Carrie wanted to be in a loving, respectful relationship. But she just wasn’t meeting anyone.

I asked her, “What would happened if you embraced those negative feelings, and welcomed them?”

Carrie scrunched up her face as if to say, “yeah right, not gonna happen.”

But what if these negative emotions weren’t coming up to make us miserable, but instead as a call to action? For Carrie, feeling insecure in her relationship meant she had to reassess the relationship and decide for herself if she wanted to be in it or not. That is, before he broke up with her.

How about if you have a shitty first date and you’re feeling crappy about yourself? Well, instead of pushing those emotions down to the bottom of a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, maybe you can take those feelings and DO something.

But what? Here’s a suggestion: call your best friend to get a HUGE confidence boost! Tell her to remind you of why she loves you, what you do for people, and how truly fantabulous you are. And ejoy your heaping dose of warm fuzzies!

Would that have happened if you pushed the insecurities away? Nope. You would have missed out on hearing about your great sense of humor, style, and your caring personality.

Now I want to hear from you. I KNOW you’ve felt shitty emotions in your life. What do you do with them? Do you PUSH negative emotions away like they’re the plague? OR have you learned from negative emotions and use them as a reminder you’ve got to DO something? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

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