Tag Archives: anxiety

Why You Gotta Be So MEAN?

Screen Shot 2014-05-13 at 8.10.56 AM 1

Why you gotta be so MEAN?

One of my clients is the nicest woman I know. In fact, she defines herself by her generosity toward her friends and family. So I was SHOCKED when she told me that she was MEAN to ex-boyfriend during their break-up. She insulted him, put him own, and basically treated him like crap.

WHY?

She explained that he would be devastated if he got dumped, so she just couldn’t do it. Instead, she figured she just  “show him” how much the relationship wasn’t working by being, ya know, mean. In time, he would figure it out and break up with her.

Logical, right? UH, WRONG.

That’s just mean.

Being mean isn’t doing anyone any favors. No matter how sad, upsetting, or devastating a break-up feels, communicating honestly and intimately is the kindest thing you can do.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments–have you ever acted mean to get someone else to dump you? OR, have you been honest, intimate and connected even through a break up? 

TIll I see you soon, take good care of your sweet heart.

Comments

comments

Your Biological Clock

Screen Shot 2014-04-01 at 7.43.26 AM

In today’s episode of BDG.TV we’re talking the big elephant in the room when we talk about dating.

Your biological clock.

Remember that scene in “My Cousin Vinny” when Marisa Tomei declares her clock is ticking, ticking ticking…?

Yeah. Maybe yours is too? Maybe you can’t even hear yours because you’ve pushed it aside for so long?

Look, I’ve spoken to a lot of super smart and successful women who make a huge mistake that they wish they could’ve avoided sooner. They don’t acknowledge their biological clock. They out off thinking about what they want in terms of family and children. And yet, just tenderly giving themselves to the space to consider it could have changed things for them, profoundly.

There’s no big action to take. No declarations to make. Just think about it, what do you want? And then, wait for the answer. The asking alone can make you feel more hopeful, safe, and happy about your future.

But the time to ask is NOW. Not when you’ve already met your man, or after you’re married, and certainly not when you’re choosing neighborhoods according to the best public school districts.

Ladies, I’m gonna be a stickler on this. Please. Think about this now. What do you want in terms of family, kids? Give yourself the space and time to consider it. You deserve it.

Have you given this enough thought in your own life? Let us know in the comments section. I know it’s a sensitive topic but your opinion can help many other women out there. So let us know what you think. Do you want kids? Do you NOT want kids? Have you thought it through?

Till I see you soon, take good care of your sweet heart.

Comments

comments

Do You Feel Like an Insecure Little Girl?

Screen Shot 2014-02-15 at 4.57.07 PM

I know you’re a strong powerful woman–at work, in the gym, with all your relationships with your friends and family.

But what happens when it comes to dating? Do you become an insecure little girl? That’s what a new client told me. She’s totally together and confident in every area of her life. But then when she gets around men she likes–BOOM–she becomes tongue-tied toddler! What gives? She doesn’t feel like herself but she doesn’t know what to do!

Well, she (and many other women like her) made the mistake of compartmentalizing her life. That is, she keeps her work life separate from her spiritual life, which is separate from her friend and family life, which of course, is also separate from her love life.

So she gets better at what she’s already good at–work and creating deep friendships. But she totally neglects what she’s less good at, like flirting. And so when she’s around a man she thinks is cute, she feels like an insecure little girl. Not a good scene.

What to do? Consider your life as a full package, not a collection of parts. That is, your work, spiritual, friendships and of course LOVE life are all part of the same being–YOU! And YOU dear, are a big girl who deserves the best. Remember that! And maybe next time you’re flirting with a guy, you’ll feel like the powerful love the machine that you are!

Deal?

What do you think? Have you ever felt like a little girl in one area of your life, and a strong woman in the other? Let me know in the comments, I can’t wait to hear!

Comments

comments