I’m going to tell you a true story. (Names and details have been changed for privacy, of course.)

Laura and I are sitting across from each other at a local coffee shop, talking about her long-distance boyfriend. He’s in San Francisco, she’s in NYC.

She wants him to use the word “us” more often. She wants him to be faithful while they’re apart. She wants him to stand up to his mother.

Laura didn’t tell me any of this explicitly. She only told me how dreamy he is, how much she loves him, and how their lives together could be so perfect…if only he’d make a few little changes.

So I listened. I didn’t tell her what to feel–she already knew exactly how she felt. Instead, I told her what to say so he would listen too. Only then could she win the argument (or any argument for that matter) she had with him.

Let’s be clear, I know arguments aren’t always about winning. In this case, “winning” is communicating clearly and effectively (even while tears and snot are dripping down your face).

Watch this week’s episode of BDG.TV to find out what I told her.

Do you agree or disagree with my advice? Have YOU ever had an argument where you wished you’d done things differently? Let me know in the comment section below.

Till I see you soon in the comments, take good care of your sweet heart.