Tag Archives: Good Advice

Why You Gotta Be So MEAN?

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Why you gotta be so MEAN?

One of my clients is the nicest woman I know. In fact, she defines herself by her generosity toward her friends and family. So I was SHOCKED when she told me that she was MEAN to ex-boyfriend during their break-up. She insulted him, put him own, and basically treated him like crap.

WHY?

She explained that he would be devastated if he got dumped, so she just couldn’t do it. Instead, she figured she just  “show him” how much the relationship wasn’t working by being, ya know, mean. In time, he would figure it out and break up with her.

Logical, right? UH, WRONG.

That’s just mean.

Being mean isn’t doing anyone any favors. No matter how sad, upsetting, or devastating a break-up feels, communicating honestly and intimately is the kindest thing you can do.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments–have you ever acted mean to get someone else to dump you? OR, have you been honest, intimate and connected even through a break up? 

TIll I see you soon, take good care of your sweet heart.

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Too Fat to Date

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Spring has sprung! And to get ready for the warmer months I’ve decided to enroll in a six-week challenge at my gym. (Yes, I got to the gym!) The challenge is simple–attend as many classes as you can (both strength and cardio) and measure your change in body fat percentage. I’m pretty excited to get my heart pumping!

I asked one of the challengers what motivated her most, and she bluntly said, “I’m too fat to date. I want to get in better shape before I start dating again.”

WHAT??!!! Too fat too date?!

But she got me thinking–is there an ideal weight, fitness level, or body fat percentage that makes you “ready?” The answer is a Big Fat NO.

What matters most is body confidence, not your body weight. If you’re feeling strong, healthy, and moving toward your optimum form, then you’re gonna feel fantastic! Working out and taking control of your health builds confidence. And when you’re confident, men notice.

On the other hand, if you’re not feeling confident–heavy, bloated, uncomfortable in your own skin–it doesn’t matter what the scale says. It doesn’t matter if your friends tell you that you look great. If you’re not feeling confident in your body than no one’s going to ask you out. Simple as that.

So please, by all means work out, take a yoga class, a zumba class, or go for a long walk! Start building your body confidence, and you’ll become sexy and attractive no matter what your weight!

What do YOU think? Have you ever felt too fat to date? Let me know in the comments section. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

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Your Biological Clock

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In today’s episode of BDG.TV we’re talking the big elephant in the room when we talk about dating.

Your biological clock.

Remember that scene in “My Cousin Vinny” when Marisa Tomei declares her clock is ticking, ticking ticking…?

Yeah. Maybe yours is too? Maybe you can’t even hear yours because you’ve pushed it aside for so long?

Look, I’ve spoken to a lot of super smart and successful women who make a huge mistake that they wish they could’ve avoided sooner. They don’t acknowledge their biological clock. They out off thinking about what they want in terms of family and children. And yet, just tenderly giving themselves to the space to consider it could have changed things for them, profoundly.

There’s no big action to take. No declarations to make. Just think about it, what do you want? And then, wait for the answer. The asking alone can make you feel more hopeful, safe, and happy about your future.

But the time to ask is NOW. Not when you’ve already met your man, or after you’re married, and certainly not when you’re choosing neighborhoods according to the best public school districts.

Ladies, I’m gonna be a stickler on this. Please. Think about this now. What do you want in terms of family, kids? Give yourself the space and time to consider it. You deserve it.

Have you given this enough thought in your own life? Let us know in the comments section. I know it’s a sensitive topic but your opinion can help many other women out there. So let us know what you think. Do you want kids? Do you NOT want kids? Have you thought it through?

Till I see you soon, take good care of your sweet heart.

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